Damned if you do.

Question: is it ever ok to talk to or sleep with your friend's ex? No? Yes? Is the world so small to think that you can't go outside of the small box of your existence to date someone a friend of yours hasn't dated? Is the world so small to think that you can't get over your friend having a little bedroom fun with someone you've shared intimate moments with as well?

I have a group of friends. A subject that's been rather taboo is; "who's piece is off limits, when is said piece declared off limits and WHY is said piece off limits"? Whether the subject be taboo or not, it's no secret that actions have occurred that have warranted the question being raised. Everyone has their line of disrespect to be crossed with fair warning, but no one will willingly draw this line in the sand for all others to adhere.

Who's piece is off limits? The most obvious answer to this question in my case is anyone my friends have talked to. Now, I don't ask what goes on behind closed doors (God, only knows how much I don't want to know), but from time-to-time we (my friends and i) get excited, tipsy, high off the sauce (as you may) and proceed to display all we do for whatever intensive purpose it may serve at the time to others in the group. Certain things aren't "company conversation" (not for outside parties) of course so these things are said in strict confidence. However, from listening to each person I ally myself with and cut for I can tell who they care for and who they don't hence, I know where a problem will lie if I were to even so much as associate myself with that person. Now, I'm no professor of sociology and I failed college psychology twice, but I damn well know when a friend of mine likes someone more than they let on. Clearly to my uneducated and lack of human behavioral trained mind, I should more than likely stay away from that person if I don't want problems with my friend. With that said in my opinion to stay on the safe side; anyone mentioned is off limits.

When is said piece declared off limits? To be on the safe side I'd say the moment your friend brings them to an outing, mentions their name or introduces you to them. It'd be pointless for you to meet the person through your friend then do THE SAME THING (introduce them, bring them to an outing or mention their name). I'd think that in friendship you have respect and love for the person so you'd want to take that all the way. Don't slack off because you've come across some potentially good d*ck or p*ssy. When that good d*ck or p*ssy has gone or given you VD; that friend you screwed over to get it will still be there (or you'll be wishing they were) to talk you off the ledge.

WHY is said piece off limits? Now, this is where it gets tricky. If you didn't adhere to the first suggestion or the second then you may as well skip this paragraph because you've already fucked up I'm sure. I mean, if you made it this far and you haven't stopped to think about your situation and already solved it well, that person isn't your friend. So, why is said piece off limits? Well, would you want someone to do it to you? Karma pays all dues and most likely what you do to someone will practically KILL you because you'll be so careful as to protect yourself from it (not to mention overtly paranoid when it comes to that subject), but it'll happen anyway; in most cases, 10 times worse. Why go through that?

In conclusion (I hate that), I'd just like to say; it isn't worth it. The world is big enough for you not to have to date, talk to, sleep with or romp the same people as your friends. Have some respect for yourself and them because it's bad business. On the other hand if you didn't know that's a different story, etc, etc. G'nite.

Kids, don't try this at home

So a few weeks ago I decided that I should take a little hiatus from masturbation (jacking off, rubbing one out, whacking off, etc) and fornication altogether in an attempt to force a peak of my creative side. So far all I've gotten are mutated blue balls symptoms to the point where I think I'm being stabbed, damn near wet dreams at the age of 28 and an unexplainable curiosity to research sex and the different ways it's enjoyed.

Today marks the 14th day of my experiment. In the beginning stages I felt I'd die. Absolutely EVERYTHING reminded me of sex. It was like something out of a horribly produced indie movie. A woman at 7 Eleven whom COULD NOT wait to eat the banana she had just purchased proceeded to deskin and devour it as she left the store, mouths are now evaluated strictly for tightening ability with a double-take follow up to assess probable softness, full feel and kissing tactics based on chewing action, and well, just an overall perversion of normal behavior. I called my significant other on the phone, heard a moan from being too tired and instantly shot into an erection. That's another thing; the erections---oh em gee and the effect of blue balls afterward feels like I've been kicked in the balls then someone came along and started stabbing at my lower abdomen. Dramatic, right?

Wet dreams. Ahhh remember those? Last time I had one I was 22, in Korea and on the last leg of a terrible long distance relationship with the most inconsiderate fucktard on the planet (or at least at the time so I thought). Long story short, I had a dream and all of you know how it ends. Well, slowly, but surely I think I'm working my way to those wonderful days of nocturnal emissions (yes, that was sarcasm). My dreams now (always about my significant other) are more vivid and scary to say, colorful than any other dreams I can remember. I didn't even dream this much about sex when I was a teenager!

Sex research, hmmm? How do you explain it? I had originally decided I'd post a new status message on Facebook each time I found an interesting fact about sex, but then that would completely go against my Facebook addiction recovery (not to mention make me look like an obsessed, border-line nympho to people that don't actually know me). I'm going to end this section with; the internet is full of interesting, insightful and dangerous information. I think people should eventually be licensed to use it at some point.

In conclusion (I hate ending pieces of writing like this, but I'm tired), a 40 day and 40 night vow isn't easy. I have been able to complete 4 episodes of a fake "show" I'm writing on Facebook as "Notes" called If My Friends Had Powers. Four episodes have been posted with 13 planned. I am excited about the potential my friends and associates see in my creative writing ability and the simple fact that by my words alone the things I am imagining can be visualized by someone other than myself. I honestly don't think I would have been able to carry it this far had I have been beating my meat when I get bored. My skin doesn't look as horrible as usual. Um yea...goodnight.

gRoW uP

...is the pinnacle of life TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP? i'm not understanding why every Joe-Blow that isn't even responsible enough to keep up with a PREPAID phone bill thirsts to be responsible for the feelings of a living, breatheing being! that's not a very good comparison, Darion. isn't it? i mean, you get into a relationship (i.e. you have a key to his/her apartment, possible joint account, exclusivity, etc) and you're basically assuming a commitment to, from lack of a better term "hold that person down." if you can't so much as pay a bill on time or when you "get depressed" you have to go on an OUTRAGEOUS, UNPLANNED shopping spree to feel better then how do you have the RANK AUDACITY to feel you should be or are SUITED to be in a relationship?!?! you can't even take care of yourself!!!! [throws hands in the air] are you referring to a particular person, Darion? no. excuse my French, but i think it's a fucking PANDEMIC! and CHECK WRITING....AS A PROFESSION?!?!?! are you kidding me? what archaic MORON still writes checks?! i mean, seriously you'd have to feel stupid actually standing there writing the check!! furthermore, WHO STILL ACCEPTS CHECKS?! OMG! check writing? yes, what African-Americans educated in slang refer to as "stuntin!" write a check in Iowa for merchandise then return it in Atlanta. cash in hand, but let's not get off topic. it sounds like you take offense to these things because you have experienced them on an interpersonal level. not actually, [turns nose up] but i have more rant on the same topic. [smiles] i don't like people that have a blatant disregard for the feelings of others. go on. you meet someone, develop a bond with them, start sleeping with them and then all of a sudden you don't want to see them again with no explanation. i know that can't POSSIBLY make an inkling of sense to even the simplest of minds. [looks up to the left] wait, it actually does make sense because they were only after one thing, clearly. however comma why develop a bond then, expunge it without consideration or at least RESPECT for the bond (to say THE LEAST), but then that same person (when asked later about said incident) will make up extravagant, melodramatic lies about the person to appease to another! Darion, it sounds like you should take more careful consideration into whom you surround yourself with. i have. [smiles] i guess i just wish some people would GROW UP.

Seeking Help for Facebook Addiction.

I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it; "I have a chronic Facebook addiction." I honestly don't remember when it started, but I remember pulling other weak minds in with me. They became just as addicted and ultimately we supported each other's habit. Commenting on photos and status messages, tagging pictures of people, taking pictures for and getting dressed accordingly as so not to be seen in the same shirt or outfit we were seen in on previous pictures at earlier events. I'll go ahead and take credit as one of the worst of the bunch; I chop up videos and post small clips to Facebook. My trigger finger is going crazy right now because I bought a computer without a Fire wire port and I have tapes full of raw, insatiable, parody-ready clips I can do a lot with. Those do exist that update Facebook with invites for dinner or send text messages insisting everyone log into Facebook to check-in and I have to admit each time I take a picture on my iPhone I debate whether I am going to post it to Facebook or I retake it so it's visible and entertaining enough for those on my friend list. The other day I went as far as to view Facebook from my profile in the mindset of a new friend. I made my way to the Notes section, read them all, to the Info section, read it all and updated what seemed uninteresting, went through each picture posted by myself and those posted by others removing tags that I felt did not compliment the particular persona I wanted to give off or showed too much of the areas where my hair is thinning. I timed myself today; regardless of what I'm doing, I check Facebook every 30 minutes. I don't usually answer my phone, but I answer Facebook messages as soon as I read them. I barely have any contacts in my phone, but my Facebook friend list is filled with people I keep up with. Spotting arguments and shots taken at other's through status messages is almost as entertaining as the next best reality show.

Do you accept Aetna?